An Anonymous Piece on Transformation

This outstanding and real piece of writing was submitted by a sophomore in our Spiritual Formation Bible class...

Spiritual Inauthenticity

Whoever you are, you probably shouldn’t read this article. In fact I would rather that you didn’t. Because you might find out more about myself than I would like you to know- more than I would like anyone to know. I could stretch the truth, I could tell you how authentic I am, or maybe how great my relationship with God is. But that would be a perfect example of inauthenticity. Because the truth is, that would be a bold-faced lie. So, am I spiritually inauthentic? I guess that it would depend on your definition of a few different things. The dictionary definition of authenticity is this, not fake, not an imitation, real. So, am I real? Are you? Is anyone? Take yourself to a school classroom with me. Sit down in a desk, look around at the other students, and glance at the teacher. Now sit back and listen to the class discussion. They are discussing something about poetry, and inevitably, someone will raise their hand and say something about Jesus. It may or may not have anything to do with the discussion, but someone will bring Jesus into the discussion, and maybe quote some Scripture. Did I mention that we are in a classroom at a Christian school? Now, what could possibly be wrong with this? Nothing at all, if the person speaking really means what she is saying. And who am I to judge? But, oftentimes, the person speaking says something super spiritual, then settles down in their desk with a proud expression on their face. They then will proceed to glance around the room and see who heard their comment. You see, quite often in the Christian community, people feel the need to “show off” their spirituality. And essentially, some people in the room will become discouraged about their own faith. And this happens everyday. Being “spiritual” is in fashion for some in the Christian community, the same way that sweaters and ballet flats are in fashion. In a world where pretending to be perfect is a way of life, then how can there possibly be any hope for authenticity? A big part of spiritual authenticity is the question why. Why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for God, or is it to make you look good? I have a confession. I am inauthentic. I am one of those people who pretends to have it all together. There are a lot of us. I know, I see them. We pretend that we don’t need anything or anyone; we keep our conversations on the surface, discussing fairly shallow things. We can talk for a long time about nothing, just to keep the conversation from going deep or personal. We bury our feelings deep inside. Personal questions make us uncomfortable and we don’t really like to share our hearts with other people. We tell white lies, and sometimes not-so-white lies. If someone asks us what is wrong we will usually shrug it off and assure them that we’re fine. We keep secrets-usually big ones that we don’t want anyone to know-that we can't have anyone know. We don’t trust people. We are generally afraid to get close to people, because they might end up hurting us. We fake smiles. And sometimes, we look into the eyes of a desperate, searching person, and find that we are looking at ourself. Left alone for long enough, these people will eventually lose touch completely with their emotions and any sense of who they are. And another thing, they will probably lose any relationship with Jesus that they might have had. Because chances are, they will just stop trying. Some of us are at this point already, and some of us still have a way to go before we get to there. Is there anything that can be done for this? I honestly don’t know. What if people in the church were more open about the issues that they face? What if Christians really took the time to get to know each other? What if we all made a deal to take off our masks together? What if we didn’t judge? What if the church could be known for their honesty and openness about the various struggles that we all face? What would happen if we admitted that we don’t know as much about the Bible as people may think that we do and that we really don’t like to pray? What would happen if more and more Christians focused on being real? Fortunately, it can be done. So lets all give it authenticity a try and see how our lives and the lives of people around us change.